Releasing Judgment and Asking For Help

Posted by on May 07 2013

A colleague sent me this email last year, and I wanted to share it with you, because it affects all small business owners:

“I’ve purchased some of your material and taken a course on masterminding and still haven’t moved forward with creating a mastermind group.

I’ve recognized that part of my problem is moving past my desire for perfectionism and subsequent embarrasement for not “being more busy and effective.” In other words I don’t know how to build a team of people (such as yourself) that can help me till I get into a rhythm.

I am often afraid to ask for help because as a Life Coach who has been building a business for over 2 years, I should have done this by now. My guilt, frustration and embarrassment only continue to keep me in hiding.”

Here’s the answer I sent back to him:

First, let me assure you that I know exactly where you’re coming from. Would it help you to know that the very nature of a small business owner causes these sorts of feelings? You’re not alone. Lots of life coaches (and all small business owners) have these same feelings and situations.

Perhaps you’re putting the cart before the horse? Maybe you will “get into rhythm” by being part of mastermind group yourself first, instead of waiting to be in rhythm THEN starting a mastermind group. A mastermind group, or a coach, will help you to discover where you’re self-sabotaging yourself, help you set a do-able action plan, and help you to be accountable to moving forward. Plus a mastermind group can help you come up with really creative ideas to solve problems, challenges and indecision…ideas you might not have thought of on your own.

Do you know other small biz owners, or other life coaches, who might want to be part of a mastermind group? You could start a free group where you are a member, first, to get the ball rolling.

Another option, of course, is for you to hire your own coach, someone who will not judge you or say “you should be farther along,” but instead someone who supports you and wants only success for you. Are you willing to give up your guilt and frustration, get unstuck, and really move forward? Okay, okay, maybe not “give up guilt and frustration,” but make friends with them and USE them to empower you and put you into progressive action?

I was at a Jack Canfield seminar last month. He said, “If you really want personal growth in your life, do three things: get married, have children, and start your own business.” He wasn’t kidding. Starting your own business will push every button you have. But you will grow in tremendous ways, and as a life coach, you will also help others at the same time.


I strongly encourage everyone to be part of a mastermind group. You can look here to find a mastermind group, and if there’s not one already available which meets your needs, start a mastermind group yourself.

I’ve created a free, simple, step-by-step ebook on how to start your own mastermind group which will get you on the right path.

If you prefer some personalized, one-on-one attention, find a small business coach (like me!) to help you. I’ve written an article on what you should consider when selecting a small business coach, a checklist for things to look for. Finding a small business coach that fits your needs and personality is very important, so think about what you want to work on with a coach and what personality types you get along with best.

Stop judging yourself, and get the help and support you need to create the business you’re dreaming of.


5 comments for now

5 Responses to “Releasing Judgment and Asking For Help”

  1. Jennifer Gleeson BlueNo Gravatar


    Great post. I especially love Jack Canfield’s comment. I’ve been married now for 7 years and in business for 3 and have found both to be incredible catalysts for development.

    Thanks for encouraging us all to stop judging ourselves!


    01 Feb 2010 at 9:22 am

  2. Karyn GreenstreetNo Gravatar


    I have edited Jack’s comment to: get married, start a business, have five CATS.

    01 Feb 2010 at 8:48 pm

  3. LeaRae KeyesNo Gravatar

    Having a MasterMind group is so valuable for a self employed person. Without it, one feels as if they are building a business in a vacuum. This is great information and I have shared it with my social network. Thank you for posting this.

    Nurse Entrepreneur

    25 Mar 2010 at 12:38 pm

  4. Karyn GreenstreetNo Gravatar

    You’re welcome, LeaRae, and thanks for sharing this post with your network! 🙂

    25 Mar 2010 at 1:22 pm

  5. Matt MansfieldNo Gravatar


    This article really hits the nail on the head! It is so hard to ask for help because you want to appear strong and self-sufficient, but it is critical to do so.

    I finally bit the bullet recently when I hired someone to help me plan and execute the launch of a new product.

    It really felt like “giving in”. I thought I knew all the steps; that I could have gotten everything done on my own. Boy was I wrong!

    Not only has this person provided me with guidance and to-dos to get started and keep moving forward, but she has also come up with some great ideas and inspiration!

    As the old saying goes, “No man is an island”. It is as true today as ever.


    16 Nov 2010 at 10:45 am

Category: Business Strategy & Planning, Start and Run a Mastermind Group