Let’s Talk About Fear

I talk to many small business owners who are feeling afraid right now.

They’re afraid of:

• Not having enough — enough money, enough love, enough health, enough security, and enough freedom.
• Failure — or afraid of being “too successful” and the pressures it could bring.
• Missing out on all that life has to offer.
• Not reaching their potential.
• Rejection.
• Dying – and afraid of living, too.

No matter how confident you are, everyone experiences fear

You might be feeling the sensations of fear and have a conscious awareness of it.

But often it’s subconscious and your actions might show you that subconsciously fear is the culprit.

Take this small self-assessment. Are you:

• Procrastinating
• Going after the next, newest shiny object and putting your other plans/tasks aside
• Having a hard time making decisions
• Feeling stuck
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Allowing perfectionist tendencies to slow you down too much

What story is scaring you?

Jack Canfield says, “Figure out how you’re scaring yourself. Then acknowledge that you are creating your fear and you’ll start to triumph over it.”

Most fear is based on a future event, something that hasn’t happened yet — but could (in theory). We picture this future event and frighten ourselves, much like going to a horror movie. We imagine all kinds of outcomes that may or may not ever take place.

One way to figure out how you scare yourself is to listen to your self-talk.

Take a moment to write these fill-in-the-blanks for these statements:

• People won’t buy from me because______
• I can’t have what I want in life because ______
• I can’t be who I’m meant to become because ______
• I don’t deserve to have what I want because ______
• If someone rejects my offer, I will ______

Learned fears

We were not born with these fears.

Our past experiences and the people in our lives have taught us how to be afraid of the future and about our ability to meet it successfully.

Sometimes we make generalizations about life because of one bad experience. Mark Twain said, “The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.”

Change your self-talk

• What if you changed the way you talk to yourself?
• What if you remembered all the times in your life when you were able to accomplish what you set out to do, big or small?
• What if you thought back to all the times you were scared and still took action?

Most of us have heard about positive affirmations. Affirmations are statements of what you want to be true. But sometimes using affirmations feels false, because the affirmations talk about a future truth that’s not quite true yet.

Instead, consider overcoming your limiting beliefs by using what David Gershon and Gail Straub call Growing Edge statements, writing and using statements that are true today, and that still move you towards what you want. These are your growing edge — the next place that growth needs to happen so you can reach your goals.

Instead of the affirmation: “I am a successful small business owner making a 6-figure income,”

Use a Growing Edge statement: “I am capable of finding people who can teach me about increasing my revenue stream,” or “I try a new marketing technique each month and chart the results.”

See the difference?

These modified affirmations are still positive and still motivational. But they feel honest and true, so instead of resisting them, you find they empower you. And once you’ve mastered that Growing Edge statement, you can modify it for each new growing edge to keep you moving forward.

Just keep the Growing Edge statement truthful AND challenging. Don’t write a statement that’s too easy or too hard…you will sabotage yourself.

• Write statements that are challenging: they make the hair stand up on the back of your neck, ones that feel like you are reaching and growing
• Write statements that also feel completely possible. In your gut, you know you can do it.
• Remember this mantra: challenging but do-able. That’s the place of personal growth and empowerment.

It’s okay to feel fear. But don’t let it stop you from moving forward. Tell yourself: I feel scared, but I’m able to move one step forward today towards my goals and dreams, because it’s more important for me to be happy and successful than it is for me to wallow in my fear and tell myself scary stories.

Helen Keller says, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.”

You can’t know what the outcome of any endeavor will be.

But you do know if you allow fear to keep you stuck, the outcome will not be what you want.

You deserve to have a rich, rewarding, meaningful, and happy lifetime. Live a Daring Adventure!

More from the blog:

• Small Business Fear, Success, and Daily Rituals which help
• How to Raise Your Fees
• 10-Minute Marketing Tasks You Can Do Easily

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