Releasing Judgment and Asking For Help

A colleague sent me this email last year, and I wanted to share it with you, because it affects all small business owners:

“I’ve purchased some of your material and taken a course on masterminding and still haven’t moved forward with creating a mastermind group.

I’ve recognized that part of my problem is moving past my desire for perfectionism and subsequent embarrasement for not “being more busy and effective.” In other words I don’t know how to build a team of people (such as yourself) that can help me till I get into a rhythm.

I am often afraid to ask for help because as a Life Coach who has been building a business for over 2 years, I should have done this by now. My guilt, frustration and embarrassment only continue to keep me in hiding.”

Here’s the answer I sent back to him:

First, let me assure you that I know exactly where you’re coming from. Would it help you to know that the very nature of a small business owner causes these sorts of feelings? You’re not alone. Lots of life coaches (and all small business owners) have these same feelings and situations.

Perhaps you’re putting the cart before the horse? Maybe you will “get into rhythm” by being part of mastermind group yourself first, instead of waiting to be in rhythm THEN starting a mastermind group. A mastermind group, or a coach, will help you to discover where you’re self-sabotaging yourself, help you set a do-able action plan, and help you to be accountable to moving forward. Plus a mastermind group can help you come up with really creative ideas to solve problems, challenges and indecision…ideas you might not have thought of on your own.

Do you know other small biz owners, or other life coaches, who might want to be part of a mastermind group? You could start a free group where you are a member, first, to get the ball rolling.

Another option, of course, is for you to hire your own coach, someone who will not judge you or say “you should be farther along,” but instead someone who supports you and wants only success for you. Are you willing to give up your guilt and frustration, get unstuck, and really move forward? Okay, okay, maybe not “give up guilt and frustration,” but make friends with them and USE them to empower you and put you into progressive action?

I was at a Jack Canfield seminar last month. He said, “If you really want personal growth in your life, do three things: get married, have children, and start your own business.” He wasn’t kidding. Starting your own business will push every button you have. But you will grow in tremendous ways, and as a life coach, you will also help others at the same time.

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I strongly encourage everyone to be part of a mastermind group. You can look here to find a mastermind group, and if there’s not one already available which meets your needs, start a mastermind group yourself.

I’ve created a free, simple, step-by-step video tutorial on how to start your own mastermind group which will get you on the right path.

If you prefer some personalized, one-on-one attention, find a small business coach (like me!) to help you. I’ve written an article on what you should consider when selecting a small business coach, a checklist for things to look for. Finding a small business coach that fits your needs and personality is very important, so think about what you want to work on with a coach and what personality types you get along with best.

Stop judging yourself, and get the help and support you need to create the business you’re dreaming of.